I Love YouThats why I have to kill you
by RedFalkon
Summary: Ed comes home after years of not being there for her...she doesnt want him home, and she has a gun... Rated M for explicit content. EdxWin oneshot


_**Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. Dont steal, WILL beat you down…kthx**_

_**Strictly EdxWin**_

**Authors Note: I am still in the process of writing "Animal I've Become". I have no plans of abandoning it or letting it go just yet. The idea for this story just came along and bitchslapped me real hard, and as much as I would have wanted to wait till I finished "Animal", I didn't want the idea for this one to go to waste…and anyways, I need to take a little time off of thinking on that one before I continue it. I made the mistake of jumping into it (the previous version before the one on here) and I lost it halfway through…so I'm taking my time with it…**

**This one here is a oneshot inspired by a banner someone made and uploaded onto the banner gallery of ****, where they cut out a picture of a manga sideview of Ed, looking solemn and turned it so that it was facing a manga cutout of Winry pointing a gun and crying (vol. 12 of the manga) so it looks like shes pointing the gun at him…in the background are faint images of the two of them together throughout their lives, and the words "I Love You…that's why I have to kill you"**

**If you are the creator of that Banner and youre reading this, This fanfiction is dedicated to you and youre awesome work! Thank you for the inspiration! Half the credit for this story goes to you!**

_**Rated M for explicit, mature content**_

Flashes of lightening illuminated the dark sky and gave a bright silver highlight to each individual raindrop. It was pouring outside…

The storm was so powerful, her house had lost light. All she had now was a flashlight and her ageing dog to guide her through the darkness. She was too afraid to leave the comfort of her bed. Lightning and thunder have always been one of those things she just couldn't stand and sought shelter from the first sign of it. She was alone in the house, with no one there save for Den, her Dog. She remembered how she used to snuggle in with her grandmother during such bad storms, back when her grandmother was still alive…its been a year now since her passing, and she's never felt so lonely…

Well, she cant say she didn't know loneliness…Her grandmother wasn't the only one who had kept her safe during these storms. As a small child, there was someone else…a friend of hers, who would always make room for her to sleep no matter the hour, and who'd always hold her close and whisper soft reassurances in her ear, and who's warmth could always send her back into sleep despite the lightning or thunder. She was never afraid of the storms when he was around…but as time passed, he changed. And with this change, he up and left. Once or twice he's visited her in the past, and on occasion he would even write…but its been about 4 years since she last saw him, and 3 years since his last letter. He was nineteen now aswell…

He was a handsome young man, with long blonde hair and deep ember eyes that contained an untamable fire within them, hot enough to set one's own soul aflame.

Just the thought of him and those fire-hot eyes sent her own insides aflame…She held a deep anger towards the boy, but at the same time she felt a strong emotional attachment to him. She didn't know why she cared for him so, after all the years of treating her like nothing more than his personal mechanic. Their relationship as children was a powerful one. They were nearly inseperable, and might as well have been blood siblings by how close they were…she never thought he would just leave her like he did. The few times he's dropped by, it was only for repairs or tune ups on his mechanical limbs. Never once did he stop by just to spend some time with her, and he never stayed longer than a couple days. And when he wrote, his letters were short sweet and to the point; where he was at, what he was doing and what he was going to do…He diddnt go in depth, he just wrote so she knew he was still alive, not if he was ill, or in the hospital, simply just alive.

She was grateful that he had even cared to write to her the rare times that he had…but it bothered her so that he didn't care enough anymore to treat her like family, just like he used to. For this, she held great resentment towards even the very thought of him. As a child he had led her to believe they'd be close friends forever and that he'd always be by her side and never forget her…but his actions since he left town said the complete opposite, at least in her eyes.

She gripped her bed sheets and wiped at a single tear that had rolled down the side of her face. His memory stirred so many emotions within her, It was enough to draw this single tear…

Despite the way he had cast her aside, and despite the fact that he wasn't there when she needed him most…for some reason unbeknownst to herself, she loved him…more than life itself, she loved him…and the love that she felt for him wasn't sweet or romantic or nice like the fairy tales. Her love was painful, and it diddnt bring smiles, it brought tears. She diddnt want to love a person who pretty much abandoned her. She diddnt want to love him…

But she did…and despite her own wishes, day by day she continued to watch for him, her eyes fixed on the horizon just incase he would show. It was something she'd done since the day he left, and at night, she would leave a light on in the window, signaling him to come home, just as his mother had done. For years, she performed the same ritual…

But tonight there was no lamp.

She longed for him to come home, to lie beside her and fill the empty space on her bed, to hold her close and comfort her…but she had just about given up on the Idea of him coming home ever since his letters stopped coming…

She turned her head to the side and stared at the empty space beside her. Another tear rolled down the side of her face and she quickly wiped it away, forcing herself to hold back any more tears on their way.

'I won't cry for him…not anymore…' she thought to herself, but couldn't swallow the hard lump caught in her throat.

The sound of Den shifting on the floor ripped her away from her thoughts and turned her attention towards him. The old dog was standing on thin shaky legs and staring out the window into the rain, whining. Winry sat up in bed and looked in his direction, "Den? Whats wrong, boy?" His nose was twitching in the same way it always has each time he caught whiff of a familiar scent. He placed his paws on the windowsill and raised himself up to get a better look outside. His tail started to wag in a manner she hadn't seen in years. As if out of some burst of energy, he began to leap and bark.

"Den what is it?" She quickly rushed to his side and stared out into the darkness. A flash of lightning illuminated the earth below for just enough time for her to see the form of a man standing before the house, staring up into the window, and directly at her. Her heart skipped.

She knew this man…

Quickly, she threw on her jacket and ran downstairs, grabbing a flashlight and her handgun she kept hidden in one of her drawers…just in case…

With Den at her side, she opened the door and turned on the flashlight, aiming the beam out into the darkness. It landed on the male form standing at the foot of her stairs. His long, golden hair was matted firmly agains his head, heavy with water, his scarlet coat slung over his shoulder, his silver automail gleaming against the darkness. His piercing ember eyes stared straight into hers…

"Edward…" she said breathlessly.

As if hearing his name was his cue, Edward took a step forward, dropping his coat on the handrail of the porch, "Winry…Its good to see you, again."

"Why are you here?" she said suddenly.

He froze. There was something about her tone that sent a warning through his body not to move any closer. She had a Gun in her hand…and he knew for a fact she wasn't afraid to threaten him with it.

"I've…I've come home, Winry…" He spoke softly to her, not wanting to provoke her with harshness. Its been years since he had last seen her, and he knew he wasn't in the best of terms with her. He knew Winry wasn't very pleased with him…especially now. Even though he had a valid explination for everything he had done to hurt her, he knew she diddnt want to hear it. Even through the darkness and the rain he could see the shock and rage in her eyes…

"Come home, huh? You choose to come home now, after all these years?!" she roared at him, her fury rising by the second.

"I've just been so busy..."

"Too busy for your own family, obviously!"

"Thas not it, Winry, if you could let me explain-"

"Explain what! How your attitude with me changed the day you walked out that door?! How the only time you would even care to stop by for a visit is when your arm gets all busted up?! How the only reason I even knew you were alive is because of a quick and simple letter?!"

He stayed silent.

"Youre such an Asshole, Edward Elric! Do you have any Idea what you put me through the last four years?!"

He took another step forward, "Winry, I-"

She aimed her handgun at him, "Don't come any closer!!"

He stopped.

"All my life I've treated you as my own brother…All my life I've been there for you when you needed me…I've given you a home to come back to, which you never do. I've given you an arm and a leg to keep you moving, I've been here to support and help you in every way I could…and what do I get in return? A few stupid letters letting me know youre alright! Not even a phone call or a quick visit just to say hello or anything! I rarely see you anymore, Edward! I've been waiting for you to come home! Granny died just a year ago, and you diddnt even come home for her funeral! I was devastated and you weren't here to at least lend me a shoulder, nor did you send me a phone call to at least let me have some form of comfort! I needed you, and you diddnt show! And now you come crawling back here and expect me to welcome you home like I used to?! Give me one good reason why I shouldn't just turn you away or pull this trigger!!"

She was sobbing by the time she finished, her Gun shaking in her hands, "TELL ME!!"

He stared sadly into the eyes of his friend, not turning away for any second. Everything she said was true…and he felt ashamed for putting her through it all…but he had no choice. Her anger and hatred towards him was both a good and bad thing…in his years away from home, he diddnt want her to be close to him, just incase something were to happen…and if his enemies ever found out she was someone close and dear to him, it could have meant her life…

If making her hate him would save her life, then he would gladly do so…

But knowing she hated him also broke his heart. This woman was his guardian angel, his savior…his first and only love...

She gave him back his life…and she has every right to take it away. If anyone were to take his life, he would want it to be her…and this gun was clearly going to carry out his wish.

As if testing her, he walked forward, stopping just a few feet in front of her. Her grip tightened on the handgun and she stared into his eyes, searching for her answer, but before she could reach it, the words slipped out from between his lips, "because I love you, Winry."

She gasped lightly.

"I love you," he repeated, "With everything in me….I came back for you. I'm finished out there…Alphonse is gone, youre all I have…all these years, day and night, you've been on my mind. The thought of returning home to you for good has been the energy driving me through each day, waking me up in the morning, and putting me to sleep at night." He started to tear up. His voice started to shake, "I lost my brother, Winry…its been a year for me aswell…the transmutation failed, and before it all he made me promise that if anything were to go wrong again, that I wouldn't chase after him, and I would have come home sooner if there weren't other things I had to take care of first..all these years I've put you through hell because I diddnt want you involved in my troubles…I didn't want anything bad to happen to you." He walked closer until the barrel of the gun pressed against his chest, "but that's all over now. I'm home, and I want to stay here, with you…I've been waiting for this day a long time. I want to live a life with you, take care of you and make up for the time I've spent without you. Winry…" He touched her wrist with his cold, wet, metal hand. She jerked, continuing to stare in disbelief. "If you want to pull this trigger, so be it…at your hands, or in them, is how I'd much rather die. After all I've done to you, I deserve death. You know I would never want to hurt you, but I did it for your own safety…because I love you…and if you do choose to end it here, please…at least keep that in mind…"

Her body was shaking like mad by the time he had finished. His words stirred a countless number of different emotions within her. She diddnt know what to do, say, think, or feel…and it diddnt help that those captivating, Ember eyes refused to break their hold on her own. Tears ran rivers down her cheeks, "no…"

She shut her eyes tightly and shook her head, "no no no NO NO!! No, youre lying! Just like before…youre lying!! You don't love me…you never have!" The gun slipped out of her hands, falling onto the wet porch, just by his feet. She pounded on his soaked chest, "You promised! You promised you'd always be here! You promised you'd never forget me! You broke your promise then, so how can I trust you now!! I HATE YOU, EDWARD! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" Edward diddnt move or flinch, accepting her punishment for leaving her high and dry…

He only shut his eyes, wanting nothing more now than for her to pick up her gun and finish him off…but she diddnt, and her pounds seemed to get weaker and weaker by the second. He opened his eyes and looked down at her. Her hands were gripping his shirt as though for dear life, and her head hung loosely. After a few long seconds, she collapsed and wailed, sobbing like a child who just watched her parent killed. Edward was able to catch her before she made collision with the ground and gently ease her down to the floor. She had fallen out into the rain, into his soaking wet arms. He held her tightly and warmly trying to calm her with a soft voice, but nothing seemed to ease her racking sobs, so he just let her cry, whispering soft words into her ear and running his metal fingers through her now soaked blond locks.

Winry buried her face in his neck and cried harder, choking words through her sobs, "I-i-i-I…I d-don't….H-ate y-y-ou…Ed…" She sniffed, "I d-don't hate y-you…I-I'm S-so-rry…" "Shh…" he whispered, slipping his hand behind her head, "relax, Winry…its okay."

"No…Ed I don't h-hate you…I could n-never…hate you."

"hush now, Winry, its alright…" He whispered softly in her ear, stroking her long, soaking wet hair, "Don't cry, love…don't cry…its okay…"

She sniffed and took deep breaths, trying to calm herself down. She quieted down to light sobs and sniffs, but still held tight to Edwards shirt and refused to let go. He reached for her hand and slowly pried it away from his shirt, finger by finger, but as soon as she let go of his shirt, she gripped his hand. He lightly squeezed hers and nuzzled the side of her head, "Winry…Can you forgive me? For everything I've done to you?"

She lifted her head from his shoulder, "I forgive you, Edward…", and pressed her lips against his.

They couldn't even feel the rain pounding down on them. The second their lips touched, everything went numb and blurry…all that existed for them now was eachother…all they knew, for a brief moment, had faded.

Edward slipped his right hand behind her head to hold her steady, and carefully leaned it back just enough so that he could kiss down her jawline, neck, and over her collar. She sighed, relaxing in his gentle hold, running her fingers through his wet hair, allowing the pounding rain to fall against her face, cleansing her of all traces of her previous tears. He kissed his way up back to her lips, stopping just before they made contact in order to scoop her back up into his arms and stand to carry her into the house.

Out in the rain was no place for her.

He took her to her room upstairs and laid her down on her bed, staring into her eyes as he did so. She looked beautiful to him right now, lying there with her rain soaked golden hair spilled out over her pillow, the raindrops on her skin reflecting the light of each passing lightning strike, giving her a celestial glow, like an angel.

Her hand slipped behind his head, pulling him down to her level and kissed him once more. This time, he decided to go a little further with her. He softly traced over her lower lip with his tongue, asking for entrance and she readily accepted, intertwining her tongue with his own before he could enter, clearly putting up a small fight. If he wanted in, he would have to be a little more forceful.

Her spunk caused a painful strain against the front of his pants, and the friction made him moan. With his new excitement egging him on, he stretched out on top of her and pinned her down by her wrists and with his weight. Having been pinned to submission, she gave up her fight, for now, and allowed him to explore the inside of her mouth with his tongue. She tasted irresistibly sweet…

While he did so, she shifted under his weight just enough to make him moan once more as her body rubbed against his massive erection…massive in more ways than one. What she felt rubbing against her felt like it would be much more than satisfying.

Edward broke off from their kiss and stared down into her eyes. There was a hunger in her gaze that wasn't there before…and he liked it. He knew they both had the same Idea on their minds…but he diddnt want to take it further if she diddnt want it to happen…after all, they were both virgins, and just the Idea of causing her pain made him want to stop, but if she wanted it, he would be happy to comply.

"Winry," His voice was gentle and loving, "do you really want this? If we keep going like this, I cant promise you I wont go further…but if you don't want me to I'll stop right now. I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

She smiled at him for the first time in two years. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen…

She nodded. "I trust you, Ed..." Her voice was as gentle as his. He returned her smile and planted a featherlight kiss on her lips, "I'm glad you trust me that much."

She leaned up, closing the space between them, and no other words were spoken. As they kissed, Edward lifted his weight from her, guiding her more toward the center of the bed before reassuming his position over her on his elbows and knees. With his flesh hand, he made a trail down her face, neck, chest, and down her abdomen, stopping just above his destination. He knew she wanted it, but he couldn't stop himself from breaking off and looking to her for permission to go forward. She nodded and he smiled, rolling onto one side of her before continuing their kiss. He slipped his metal arm under her head and pulled her closer to him, his flesh hand slipping down further, taking her underwear with it. With her help he was able to slip them off, and as soon as the hated cloth was gone, he found her heat. Winry gasped at the contact between his hand and the sensitive area. It was the first time anyone had touched her there, and the feeling was so intoxicating….

She moaned into his mouth and seemed to go limp in his hold, surrendering herself to him, and more than willing to take all he had to offer.

His fingers moved slowly and gently over her womanhood, teasing her opening for a while before carefully inserting one finger at first, then two. She gripped at his chest, whimpering at the intensity of her need…

He toyed with her this way for a bit longer, then unsheathed his fingers from her moist warmth, taking her nightgown and slipping if off over her head. Winry reached for his shirt, taking it off of him, followed by his belt buckle. He did his pants, boxers and boots himself. She was ready for him, he could see it in the hungered look in her eyes, but he wasn't ready to enter her yet…

He wanted to taste her first…

He kissed his way down her body, his featherlight kisses sending chills down her spine. He pulled her legs apart, just enough, and seized her opening with his tongue. She cried out, digging her hands into his hair. He passed his tongue over the sensitive nub, drawing more screams of pleasure from her. "oh, Fuck, Edward….Edward!"

By now, His erection was so painful it felt as though it was ready to snap right off. He couldn't wait any longer. He positioned himself over her, staring down into her begging eyes. He lowered his lips to her ear and whispered, "I'm sorry about this…" and in one slow thrust, he was in. Winry cried out once more, but not in pleasure, in pain of her lost virginity. She dug her nails into his shoulders, gripping him tightly. Edward diddnt pull away or flinch. He instead flexed his shoulder muscles to ease the pain of her nails and waited…

Winry bit her lip and whined at the pain. She could feel her virgin blood slipping out, and it wasn't until it was gone that she was able to release him. "Shh…" He whispered, "I'm sorry…It's okay, I'll wait" He ran his hand lovingly down her cheek, using soft words to calm her and wiping at any tears that decided to come. It took a couple minutes for her to adjust to the feeling of him inside of her, and when she did, she turned to him and nodded, giving him the okay to continue.

Edward began his slow, smooth rhythm, gentle in every move he made, and she loved it. Every once in a while, he'd bend down and kiss her softly, but as he got closer to his release, all the softness faded from the both of them. They were both so close to climax, they diddnt care about taking it slow anymore.

Edward sped up. Beads of sweat were already dripping down both their bodies and their breaths were coming in loud pants. Winry wrapped her legs around him to hold herself steady. He was pounding into her to the point where she could no longer follow his rhythm on her own. There was no more pain, only pleasure…she knew the soreness and pain would come later…but it was all going to be worth it.

A burning sensation shot through her body, lingering for a moment in her midriff before at last it was gone in a waft of sinful relief. She gripped at Edwards shoulders, crying out his name as she released. Edward joined her climax no more than a few seconds after. He clenched his teeth and held onto the sheets for dear life, pushing himself into her and stretching her to her limit, filing her with his release…then collapsed ontop of her, panting like a dog.

The couple said nothing to eachother for the next few minutes while they caught their breath. Edward was still inside her while they did so, and once he could breathe again, he slowly pulled out of her, rolling off to her side. He rested his head against her neck and sighed, kissing it softly, "Winry?"

"Hmm?" she responded, stroking his hair.

"Do you love me?"

She nodded, "Yes…I do."

"and you forgive me?"

"Ed, you know I do."

"and do you want me to stay here and live a happy life?"

"Of course, Ed."

"Well," His arm reached behind him, but his body diddnt move. He seemed to be searching for something, "I will stay here, Winry…but theres only one way I can live happily." He brought his hand back and took hers, "We may not have grown up together like we should have, and I may not have been the greatest friend…but there is one thing I'm sure of, and that is that I love you, Winry…With all my heart." He pressed something against her hand, "I always have, since we were children. Never once has it faded, it only grows stronger day by day. I want to be there for you, with you…I want to take care of you, support you, do whatever I gotta do to earn my place beside you…and I know I don't deserve you, but picturing a life without you is one thing I know I cant do...so I have to ask," He took his hand away from hers, allowing her to see what he had given her. It was a beautifully crafted ring of pure gold in the form of a rose. A small diamond was embedded in the center of the rose, completing the masterpiece which was indeed worth more than her own house. Her breath caught. Tears brimmed her eyes.

He turned her face towards him and stared deep into her sapphire eyes, "Winry…Will you marry me?"

Without missing a beat she embraced him, tears of joy soaking his bare chest. "Yes," She said breathlessly, "Yes, I will!" Edward took the ring from her hand and slipped it onto her finger. It was a perfect fit and looked simply dazzling on her. He kissed her cheek, "I love you, baby…"

"I love you too, Ed."

The wedding was beautiful…


End file.
